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Something to share with friends and family January 8, 2011

Posted by jvmullin in Job Searching, Job Searching.
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I was in a lengthy conversation yesterday with a friend who is unemployed. It started with a comment her mother made. It made me think in a way how true that statement was.

So you should share this post with your friends and family.

Friends and family have all the best intentions when trying to help you. The problem is they really don’t know how. Family especially, they either fall silent or they nag about you not working yet.

What they do not understand is that you are already under self induced stress and that their nagging doesn’t help. It just makes matters that much worse.

What are the effects?

You are already feeling bad enough about not working when they place more stress on you it kicks up your negativity meter up 20 points or more. The longer you are out the worse things gets, self doubt starts creeping in to undermine your efforts to find that great position you want . The effects it has on your job search become detrimental to you. You look for negative aspects in every job post . This will keep you from applying to jobs that you are qualified for but because you are missing one or two points your negativity will tell you don’t bother. This could be a missed opportunity. When you get a phone screen it is in your voice no matter how much you try to sound upbeat you do not come across as genuine. You are on edge from being stressed and frustrated and ready to explode at the person on the other end of the phone when they ask you stupid questions. This negativity will carry through in a face to face interview.

They need to realize the news isn’t helping either with their conflicting articles and reports. Some of it is based on business trying to get consumers to spend money they do not have. I see a lot of it as pure hype to get consumers to hold up the economy from further collapse. Business will not make sacrifices they want the consumer to make them.

The fear factor that is going on in business today especially in the hiring process. Managers and HR are afraid to make a decision for fear of hiring the wrong person. If they do hire they are not hiring the best they are hiring the safest. Friends and Family need to realize this that it really isn’t you it is the system that is broken right now.

US based companies that are laying off here and hiring in foreign markets are not helping the US economy because it is presenting false hope for home. How does this happen. Because their business in foreign markets is improving while here they are diminishing their profits are rising. They appear to economist to be on the rebound so the economist wrongly apply that to the home market. They are giving false hope that the home markets are on the rebound and that jobs will soon follow. If you look at the stories form people with enough guts to tell the truth, they are saying that the rate of new jobs is not enough to get us back to prerecession rates by 2016.  So it doesn’t look hopeful for job seekers.

So what can friends and family do for you? They can get a really good understanding of what it is you are looking for. That position that you would love to go to everyday. Then they need to go to their networks and say hey I have a friend who is a great ______________ and they are looking for an opportunity to contribute to a company. Then they need to give you encouragement. To boost your ego not tear it down. They need to offer to help you research companies. They need to talk to their networks to find good recruiters that may know of unadvertised jobs.

Yes they need to give encouragement. Tell you what a great job you are doing staying focused and going for that dream job. Keeping you positive is their job, not adding stress to an already stressful situation.  The more they can help stay focused and upbeat the faster you will find that position and land it.

If you are wondering what my friends mother said, she said, You are not successful because we are in your life. For all the reasons I mentioned above she is right.

It is stressful for everyone involved but positive is the attitude that must be adopted to succeed and to avoid the negatives at all costs.

 

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