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Reflections on 2 years of Unemployment & Lessons learned November 10, 2010

Posted by jvmullin in Job Searching, Job Searching.
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I have been unemployed for 2 years now and I am still looking for that elusive career that I want.

What I have found out is that the so called experts and we know there are thousands out there are full of it. They have not had to look for a job in some time and are totally out f touch with finding one. There view point is one from the hiring side who has no idea what they want. Trying to find a job in this economy is like trying to hit a moving target. Every time you think you have it figured out they change the rules.  But the experts are still spouting the same thing. Then there is the social media side with all these experts. What they are experts at is filling the media with spam ads or the same information all day every day. Not so much in a passion to try and help you but to make a few dollars off of you. They tout free webinars which is a guise to sell there books or their programs. Like we have spare money to waste on such stuff.  Think about it if we followed everything they told us we would all be employed. Well I have listened and I have tried and I am still here after two years. I did it all right just they way they told us and no results. Ye sit has worked for some but then that is the Law of Averages I think more than what they said. The best hook is the “Hidden Job Market”, well let me clue you in it is so hidden they can’t find it but if it existed they can teach you how to find it. Well it exists and they can’t.

The Hidden job market is not advertised and not discussed. So how do you find it? Networking into your target companies and through the right person and the right questions you will find it. But what is it? It is three things;

Positions that are vacant and funded but not filled

Positions that were created but not funded and not filled

Position that you have to create and convince them they need you in that position.

Are they worth pursuing?  Yes if it is a place you want to work.

Please send me $20 for that advice. I might as well jump on the bandwagon too I need to money.

The most important thing I have learned is that those close to you are not your friends they are self centered and care about themselves. They do not listen to your dreams or passions. They could care less what you want they only care that you are working for their own selfish reasons.

Case in point:

I belong to an organization for unemployed professionals. I help out as much as I can as we are a community and I believe in Pay it Forward. My landlord and GF started pushing me to be a career coach because of all the help I was giving others. I was laser focused on an Engineering Manager position(My passion). I finally succumb to there bantering and started my business to help others with their careers their business and to develop leaders.

Foolish me thought that they would be willing to help promote my business and see me succeed at what they so vigorously pushed me into. Well like a couple of David Copperfields they vanished. I guess they figured well he is doing something that will make money our jobs are done. Thanks for nothing!!!!!

Ah but like David Copperfield they have reappeared to push me into taking anything to make any money. No concern for my mental state or attitude. No concern about helping me get the business going, no concern about what I want. Just as long as their selfish concerns are met they are happy. What about my happiness does it matter or count in all this?

Now I know why so many unemployed people feel they are going it alone. Now I know why we try to band together for support. We are the only ones who truly know what we are going through and we need each other to help each other. But even in these groups there are takers and do not see the need or feel the need to give back. This is baffling to me why someone would do that to a fellow human being when they understand what is at stake.  But I guess that is human nature and Karma will get them someday.

So I guess the lessons are:

Do not depend on friends and relatives to help you or have your best interest in mind when they tell you things you should be doing.

Stay laser focused on what you want

Take what the experts tell you with a grain of salt. Remember they make a living off of you.

Listen to what you fellow seekers have found that works. Learn as much about it and then figure out if it will  work for you and try it.

No matter how strong you think you are…. you are not to strong to be alone and cry once in awhile. It helps clear the mind and gets you recharged and focused. It give you a renewed determination. It also relieves stress.

Be your self! Especially in an interview. I have interviewed a number of people and yes we can tell when you have been “coached”. We want to see the real you. It counts against you if you’re not.

Treat interviews as a business meeting where you are selling a commodity and they need it. Tell them why your’s is the best.

Do not stop looking no matter how bad it seems. The day you stop is the day you missed the opportunity of a life time. It is just Murphy’s Law and the Law of Averages.

Smile and have a sense of humor it sucks being gloomy doomy all the time. Take the weekends off and have some fun. Go streak your kids soccer game. Well maybe not that. They do not have computers in holding cells (see the last point).

GTHOOTO!!!!! This is a great one from Tom Peters that he tells leaders. It stands for Get The Hell Out Of The Office. So get the hell out of the house. I do not know of nay door to door job offers or networkers. Plus it is good to be out and meet and talk to other people. You feel less like you have that  dreaded highly contagious unemployment disease. At least that is the way everyone treats you.

If you are reading this then vent in the comment section. Add your two cents! Get it off your chest or just add to it.

Positive attitudes win!

Focus and determination are key.

My attitude when I get rejected is; The jerks don’t know a good thing when it hits them in the face. Oh well their loss not mine. If a company cannot see the talent and skills you provide and what it means for them in a very positive way then they do not deserve someone as great as we are.

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Comments»

1. Efrat - November 11, 2010

Well said!


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